Merry Christmas?

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It’s Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas!

Christmas has always been a confusing time for me yet it is my favourite time of the year… No; it’s not because of presents. I’m one of those people that always thinks of everyone yet nobody ever cares to think of me. Which I didn’t always take very well, but I learned to accept that reality through the years. So why is it my favourite time of year then? Christmas is my favourite time of year because it is the only time of year where most people tend to be more kind and charitable to others. Witnessing people being kind and thoughtful to others is always nice to see. It’s passing by strangers in the street that say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. It’s the Christmas movies on TV that almost always have some useful moral to be learned. It’s reading or watching stories in the News about people helping others that I really enjoy. It’s also a time I do a lot of self reflection While also asking myself why is it that during the holiday season people seem to be more kinder, more helpful more giving to others? Why is this behaviour generally so limited during the rest of the year? Are we just programmed that way? Kind of superficial in observation.

I grew up having mixed feelings about Christmas. I grew up very poor, my mom was a single mother, she has Schizophrenia. A few times we’d have a tree for Christmas and, other times my mom would throw our tree in the garbage and say Christmas is evil and sometimes we just didn’t have the money for a Christmas tree so I’d make my own Christmas tree out of news paper or anything I could find. One time I took some wire coat Hangers and taped them together onto a piece of cardboard and wrapped silver Christmas garland that I found around the coat hangers… it was kind of cute I remember being proud that I created something out of stuff I had found but… it was also sad looking at it knowing we couldn’t afford a tree and when I’d express my sadness over not having a proper tree my mom would say nobody is supposed to partake in Christmas anyway. so that is what always made Christmas a little confusing for me. I never had a big beautiful tree thus far in my lifetime, while that used to bother me every Christmas I am okay with that now. The last 6 years I had a little Charlie Brown Christmas tree as a reminder that I never had the Christmas tree that I always dreamed of having,I really loved that tree! But my cat broke it last year! So no Charlie Brown Tree this Christmas. Maybe next year.

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