Oct. 28th 2003… 16 Years Ago Today.

16 years ago today October 28th 2003 Mark called me a bitch in his Livejournal under the made up alias of “Jessica Alona”…

Who really cares?…

I don’t… but it’s the only place you will find me mentioned in the history of Facebook and because “Jessica Alona” happens to be a made up alias and not my real name I know it is hard for some skeptics to believe my story without Mark Zuckerberg’s own validation of it.

But I can assure there is nobody else on the planet other than myself personally that can claim they are the real “Jessica Alona” that Mark wrote about in his Livejournal.

I can’t speak for Mark on why he has completely turned his back on me…

It’s hurtful… and what hurts the most is thinking that Mark doesn’t care about how this has negativly impacted my life.

I can only assume things and honestly I know assumptions aren’t always right; in fact a lot of people’s assumptions are almost always dead wrong one way or another because they aren’t factual. I know my own assumptions can be wrong but… The first assumption I always think of is…

I think Mark hates me… or has really hard feelings… or his perception of me got tainted by other people’s opinions that never actually got to know me.

As a person that has been forgotten and Alienated… What I find that irks me is Mark’s slogan for Facebook… “Bringing the world closer together.”

I think it is hypocritical to be on a life’s mission to connect the world through Facebook but in reality actually alienate and forget someone that is a part of Facebook’s history… someone that tried their best to help you, looked out for your best interests, helped make plans for the future, who absolutely trusted you and believed in you.

Yet stand so strongly and confidently by those words…

I just don’t get it…

From my point of view am I wrong for thinking it’s hypocritical?

I wholeheartedly believed in Mark. There were times he was so unsure of himself and I gave him nothing but positive encouragement.

The last argument Mark Zuckerberg and I had a year after the launch of Facebook if he can remember what it was about… maybe he’d remember just how much I actually cared not just cared about him as a friend but exactly how much I cared about the future of Facebook.

I don’t want to say what our argument was about… but I tried so damn hard to get him to understand my point of view because I actually cared and obviously I still do care after all these years and obviously always will…

And to be clear I’m not calling Mark a hypocrite to bad mouth him to cut him down… because I truly know that Mark tries his best to mean well in everything he does. I’m just speaking my mind and expressing how I feel about the whole “Bringing the world closer together” slogan seems hypocritical to me as I remain forgotten and alienated.

I had a role in the creation of Facebook…

How stupid and pathetic does that sound to a skeptic that won’t accept my sincere honesty as actual facts because Mark won’t validate my honesty in my words?… exactly…

Because there is no mention anywhere of what my role really was… other than being a “Bitch”.

and that really is partially my fault… I wanted to maintain my privacy so badly.

All that mattered to me was that Mark knew the truth…

… I never thought my need for privacy would work against me and I’d end up so forgotten and alienated by Mark…

Or that part of my life’s story would be forgotten and basically denied… or just ripped away from me n that meant keeping everything secret from my own family because of the embarrassment of it all… except for my Mom… but even she doesn’t have complete understanding of everything.

I’ve been left to look like a complete joke to people… and I can’t even believe that Mark would allow this to happen to me.

The burden of being completely forgotten, discredited and Alienated has weighed so heavy on my soul for so long and obviously I am just tired… I have so much difficulty and hardships in my life without this stuff.

And it’s not something to just get over and move on from…

Being forgotten is a part of my life’s story and I face the reality of it every single day… There is no escaping it.

I wish that Mark or someone close to him could find some genuine compassion in their heart and try to understand the difficultly of the situation that I’ve been left in..

…. to recap a bit

After Mark called me a Bitch in his Livejournal under a made up alias…

Our friendship didn’t stop there like some people have speculated.

I asked Mark to remove that comment from his Livejournal… but he wouldn’t because it was already published… eventually he just hid it rather than actually delete it.

He wanted me to be included in the history of Facebook… and the thing was I didn’t want my real name online anywhere…

I am still like that today…

The only exception where I have my real full name is my actual personal Facebook account… where I have just my family as my Facebook friends… I don’t have random people on my Facebook… I don’t have my friends from the past on Facebook… I don’t add acquaintances or even a friend I knew since I was a kid… that is basically my only friend.

Privacy has always been very important to me… always… and I can’t fully explain exactly why… other than I have experienced being stalked and harassed in the past… I didn’t tell Mark every detail of my life. There was a lot about me that Mark didn’t know at the time he wanted to know everything and I told him one day I would tell him everything… but I never got that chance.

I think he’d understand things about me a lot more better if I had that chance to explain the things I never had the chance to explain.

It is true that at one point I didn’t accept Mark Zuckerberg’s friend request…

It wasn’t because I was mad at him. I had created an account with my real name at the time and I just wanted to keep my friendship with him private from everyone.

But in previous early versions of Facebook I was always on his friends list under the name Jade… because I was using the nickname Jade010684 at the time on MySpace. I didn’t have any real friends or family added to any of my accounts where I used an alias and I still keep it that way.

My family or anyone I know don’t know that I am the real Jessica Alona.

My Mom knows about Mark Zuckerberg… I made her write down his full name on her calendar the evening he had officially made me a silent partner in Facebook. She had talked to Mark over the phone 2-3 times after that when he had called to talk to me… she describes the calls as sounding distant/far away… bad connection. She knows some of my struggles regarding what happened between Mark and I but she doesn’t know the full story.

It’s embarrassing for myself that things ended up this way.

As a private person… I never wanted to reveal my inner thoughts n feelings like this on the internet… on a website but I just want people to know that I’m a real person that has been forgotten and alienated and I struggle alone with the reality that I don’t really own every piece to my life’s story to say the least… not without looking like a complete joke anyway.

Since I launched this website so many people have taken the time to reach out by sending me such lovely supportive messages. It means a lot to me that there are people out there that believe my story without a doubt and I honestly can’t express how much it touches my heart because it’s such a difficult situation… and I know it looks bad… but the truth usually has it’s flaws and isn’t exactly pretty or perfect in reality.

Third Eye Blind – Take A Side

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