It’s been 10 years since Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher released their film The Social Network.
I still haven’t watched the movie beyond the first 15 mins. I really don’t know much about it other than what I briefly seen in the first 15 mins and a few clips and comments that I have came across online.
So why am I writting this blog on the 10th anniversary of the Social Network’s release?
I was inspired to write this blog after a reporter by the name of Katie Baker from theringer.com had reached out to ask me a few questions regarding The Social Network and Mark Zuckerberg.
I just wanted to share what I had to say.
Katie Baker: The book THE ACCIDENTAL BILLIONAIRES (upon which the film is based) mentions Mark’s “…is a bitch” LiveJournal entry, but uses **** instead of the name Jessica Alona. Did the writer Ben Mezrich reach out to you at all when he was writing that book?
My response: No Ben Mezrich did not reach out to me.
Nobody really knew how to reach me, because I remained pretty anonymous for years.
I can only assume that Ben Mezrich used ***** to mask the name Mark originally published October 28 2003 in his LiveJournal because someone must have told him the name was actually a made up alias to hide my true identity and most likely knew that I didn’t want my real name publicized or just simply felt the need to censor it for whatever other reason.
From day one I told Mark Zuckerberg that I didn’t want my real identity out there, I wanted to remain anonymous. I did not want my privacy compromised for various reasons. Mark didn’t understand at first… we both had very different opinions on the matter… Mark was about making a big name for himself he’d always put his whole name on everything online, I could never do that and he didn’t understand why. I told him some of the reasons why privacy was very important to me… but I didn’t get to tell him exactally everything. There were things I said I would tell him one day… but I never got the chance to and if I had fully explained everything to him in depth. I think he would have been more understanding to my situation and things would have been very different.
Katie Baker: When did Mark use the <! tag to hide that portion of the entry? I think on your website you say it was in 2005, but just wanted to ask.
My response: I’m not exactly sure when Mark decided to hide the name in the HTML code. I just remember shortly afterwards I told him to delete that Livejournal entry because I was completely embarrassed by it even though my real name was not mentioned.
I didn’t pay attention to his Livejournal at all, I worked a lot I was cleaning up to 13 commercial and city buildings a day 6-7 days a week and in between that when I had free time I spent my time learning HTML code. I used MySpace at the time to experiment with various HTML codes and in between that I was also focused on collaborating with Mark on ideas and etc. for facebook. So I was unaware of when the change exactly occurred. Mark and I remained friends that wasn’t were our friendship stopped. It wasn’t until 2005 that a disagreement lead to a heated argument that lead to our partnership and friendship ending. I do not wish to disclose exactly what we argued about but I can honestly say that I was sincere and I stood strongly on my beliefs and concerns because I genuinely cared about Mark and facebook’s future.
Even though Mark and I had our disagreements and our partnership and friendship dissolved into nothing… He ultimately always respected my need for privacy even when he really didn’t understand the whole reason… but in the end the consequences of it all resulted in me being completely Alienated, and forgotten…
Mark’s choice to keep me unacknowledged all of these years has allowed me to be erased from facebook’s history…
Leaving me to fend for myself as others openly disrespected and bullied me out of having any association with facebook through the years as I tried to reach out and reconnect.
I’ve reached out to several individuals through the years to reconnect me with Mark only to be entirely ignored, or disrespected and Mark has chosen not to step forward to defend me and my sincerity and it’s very hurtful because… all I ever did was care deeply about Mark and the fate of facebook. I wanted nothing but the best for them both… and as our partnership and friendship ended I tried to reassure him about how much I actually cared, I tried to be clear about it.
But it obviously didn’t matter…
So you see a little of why I remained silent all these years… it hurts to care so much about a friendship and something you were a part of and be forgotten … disrespected and cheated out of a life’s story that involves being a part of the history of a large innovative American Company that has made a huge impact on the world.
It’s something any Canadian/Métis woman should be proud of telling people around her…
But instead it’s a secret burden that I have carried all of these years because Mark hasn’t publicly validated anything.
It’s unfortunate that this happened to me.
Nobody’s ever going to fully understand or get the negative impact this has had on my life.
When it’s been made clear that you don’t matter especially publicly… It’s very difficult mentally and emotionally…
In today’s world issues of Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion are often raised and discussed … Mark Zuckerberg and facebook have supported and addressed many of these issues over the years…
But after all these years…
Here I am…
a woman… a mixed race Métis woman… from an impoverished background… raised by a single mother with a serious Mental illness… never obtained a proper education… and unlike the Erica Albright character I’m overweight… unknown for
Having been an early inspiration and partner to facebook… that has zero recognition in Facebook’s history other than being referred to as a “Bitch” under a made up alias… that has been later said to have never existed…
These are major facts about me that nobody really knows.
Hard not to feel some form of discrimination has been involved in how I’ve been treated not only by Mark but others around him.
… Mark has had all the power in his hands for years to put a stop to all of this… and make things right… but he hasn’t.
Nobody that has had some form of knowledge of my existence and my involvement/ original role with facebook has stepped forward to support me… not one person.
What’s that say? What kind of message is that?… it’s a loud statement that says I do not matter despite being a very influential person in facebook’s History.
… the fact that I do not matter has been made very clear.
But why don’t I matter?…
The only people that can honestly answer this is every single person who knows my true identity, and my early involvement with facebook… but has purposely looked the other way, aided in discrediting me and attacked my integrity.
I’m a real person that has been very hurt by all of this for years… and most people are completely unaware of this.
I have a real story to tell… but it doesn’t fit into the false narrative that has been created.
Katie Baker: You said you watched the first 15 min or so of THE SOCIAL NETWORK then had no desire to see more. In the opening scene where they are at the bar, did you suspect or already know that the character of “Erica Albright” was ultimately going to be the subject of the LiveJournal post? Was it the moment of MZ sitting down to write that post that spurred you to stop watching? I’d love to hear any memories of what you remember from watching those 15 minutes. (Also curious what you thought of Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal of MZ in the brief parts you saw.)
My response: When I attempted to watch The Social Network, right away I did not like Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal of Mark Zuckerberg, That was the first thing that bothered me. He made Mark seem more awkward than he really was… I didn’t like seeing that.
There was no bar scene between Mark and I in real life… I didn’t sleep with a door man as stated in the movie and to change the name to Erica Albright from Jessica Alona an already made up alias added more confusion to the world.
There was a part were Erica Albright said “Dating you is like dating a stairmaster.”… In real life we weren’t dating and I was overweight… so the mention of a stairmaster seemed like an obvious inside fat joke about me being fat.
So I found myself very offended within the first few minutes and couldn’t find it in me to watch the whole thing…
Don’t get me wrong I am not criticizing Jesse Eisenberg as an actor or Aaron Sorkin, and David Fincher’s work. Obviously they produced an Epic movie loved by many.
It’s just on a personal level of having an inside perspective of what really happened… even though it’s just a movie… it resurfaced a lot of hurt and brought forth the realization that… because of my choices of putting my privacy first and insisting on remaining anonymous in a sense allowed my life’s story to be stolen and altered to fit a somewhat fictional narrative.
… and now as I try to tell my story, and shed a little light on some of the actual truth and facts It’s difficult for others to believe me.
Katie Baker: I can only imagine how taxing it must be to have been treated this way, and worse, to have no clear path toward resolution.
The end scene of The Social Network
… seeing this clip is really sad for me…
Because in reality it wasn’t like that at all… and the depiction of the scene shows that he still cared or missed Erica But as you see in reality many years have past… I haven’t gotten another friend request.
From a personal perspective it’s really weird how there would be a scene that kind of highlights the fact that The Erica Albright character didn’t accept the friend request because there really was a time where I wouldn’t accept Mark’s friend request… and the choosen song was actually a song that Mark liked… I have a funny memory about Mark and that song. Mark liked The Beatles, I remember he told me the Beatles reminded him of his dad, growing up they listened to the Beatles a lot together.
On early versions of facebook I was always on Mark’s friend list, but under an anonymous account. When I had created a real account with my real name, I did not accept Mark’s friend request. I didn’t accept because I didn’t want my privacy compromised… Mark was fully aware of this. I explained that I didn’t want to be publicly linked to him and facebook to maintain my privacy after he had asked why I was ignoring his friend request… that’s what really happened. He actually left the friend request there just incase I would change my mind… but then my account was deleted and when I created a new account Mark never bothered to send me another friend request. To this day I haven’t received a friend request from him or anyone else that knew about me.
Posted on February 4, 2020
Another year has gone by… and I still remain forgotten, and unacknowledged.
… I don’t really have much to say about it.
I always have a little extra hope in my heart that Mark would remember to think of me as the Anniversary of the launch of Facebook nears… and of course the day of I end up disappointed and it just turns out to be a very sad day for me because I get caught up in memories of every little thing we talked about back then and how the morning of February 4th 2004 Mark was just so excited about launching Facebook when he messaged me and I was just so happy…
I’ve reached out to a lot of people over the years… in hopes that someone would find a way to reconnect me with Mark…
I emailed Elliott Schrage January 14th… hoping that he’d read my email and let Mark Zuckerberg know that I’ve been trying to reconnect… I haven’t gotten a reply back… I expected that but I tried to remain hopeful.
… I saw Mark’s Silicon Slopes Tech Summit interview the other day.
When Mark was asked who his mentors were and who does he go to for advice… He didn’t mention anyone by name… he went on to state that he’s more religious now.
… Mark and I have been out of touch for a very long time. It’s been years since he came to me for advice… but in the beginning he always came to me.
When Mark was asked this question just days before facebook’s 16th anniversary… I just hoped that in the back of his mind… he’d remember to think of me… and our promises, our partnership, the encouragement, influence and advice that I offered… but obviously it seems unlikely that he cares to remember me at all.
As for Mark’s comment on being more religious…
That’s so wonderful to hear.
But I feel like when it comes to religion… If you’re truly seeking knowledge and understanding of God your focus should be on following the word of God and self reflect… make an effort to be better and do better, make peace with others and etc.
… I just feel like anyone who is truly making an effort to be right with God… should find enough compassion and empathy in their heart to know that It’s not right to leave a person in such a vulneranle position such as the one I have been left in.
To be forgotten and ignored… especially discredited by others that knew my involvemet is absolutely dehumanizing as if I am a worthless, disposable person and my feelings and my life doesn’t matter.
Because of this my very own life story with my early involvement and silent partnership with Facebook… was stolen from me. It’s not something I can share proud n openly with my family and people I meet… because Mark has not cared to confirm things so I’d come off as a liar… or assumed I’m a crazy person like my mother.
Mark knew that I had a fear of being made out to look crazy. It’s because all my life… once people knew my Mom had Schizophrenia I’d get teased and made fun of that I’d end up crazy like her… that stuff really bothered me most of my life.
… it’s a different kind of hurt when you open up to someone about your fears and etc. and they just end up contributing to making that fear a reality.
… I don’t know for certain if Mark remembers that or not… so I can’t say for certain that any of this has been intentional.
The other day someone thought it would be nice to troll me on Facebook. Making multiple comments about “Delusional Obsession”…
It is ignorant to judge and make ridiculous assumptions about people.
I am sensitive to assumptions and accusations in relation to Mental Health. My mother has Schizophrenia. Mental Health isn’t something to laugh at.
I know what my story looks like to people that find my story hard to believe or think it’s absolutely ludacris based on lack of physical proof and public acknowledgement.
But it is what it is… unfortunately I have a sad and difficult story; a story that doesn’t seem to fit into a mould that many people expect… truth is always harder for people to believe and accept for some reason…
It’s difficult to tell the truth and be left alone in a position to look like a liar or “Delusional”… and actually have people think these untrue things.
I put my story out there for free on my own expense so people can see and understand the actual reality of my situation. Rather than keep believing a fictional story.
These days I don’t really have time and motivation to keep writting blogs… blogs never really were my thing. I have more problems in my life than I can handle right now… stuff way over my head… and that is one of the reasons I have been trying to grab Mark’s attention.
I was always there for Mark when he needed me… I gave him so much advice… and right now I wish that just this one time that I could reconnect and get some advice.
Smile by Sidewalk Prophets
“Happiness is wonderful
But it doesn’t stick around
Walkin’ on sunshine
Then here come the clouds
You can laugh or you can cry
When it all falls apart
But I believe the more you laugh
The more you heal the heart
There’s always a reason
To always choose joy
There’s something deeper
That the world can’t destroy
When you think you can’t
Get up and dance
There’s a bigger plan
And you’ve got a reason
When you think you can’t.”
Posted on November 5, 2019
FACEBOOK announced another change to the facebook logo after 15 years.
First the iconic authentic shade of blue was changed to a very vibrant blue and the brilliant off centre “f” on the logo was centered.
Now the original “facebook” logo is now FACEBOOK.
Originally there was meaning behind these things… meaning that was never really officially disclosed to the public.
BECAUSE!… well… I was behind these things… no I didn’t create or design the logos but I was behind the inspiration and meaning… and I had originally suggested the iconic shade of blue for facebook.
After I had disclosed the meaning behind these things here on my website… FACEBOOK underwent a series of changes to the logo a year later.
The new brand looks fresh because of the added colors… BUT there is really no meaning to the logo anymore.
Other than it trying to represent transparency… which isn’t a bad thing it’s just ALL original meaning is gone.
facebook’s original logo and brand had meaning… Meaning, history and originality and it’s all being erased.
A name in lower case letters… ORIGINAL… an off center logo… ORIGINAL… The iconic shade if blue… ORIGINAL… The authentic but yet simple look showed brilliance… absolute cleverness.
The changes… While the colors used adds a fresh vibrant look… it also has shown lack of imagination… The brilliance… The cleverness… The original meaning behind the brand GONE.
UPDATE Dec. 7, 2019: I had actually forgot when Mark was creating the logo for facebook I was originally in favor for it to be FACEBOOK… but it didn’t make sense because of the “f” logo… and the meaning behind it and we did discuss maybe changing it one day. I don’t know if Mark remembers that or not… but that was then… looking back now I actually think lowercase was more brilliant and I honestly think it should have stayed that way.
You go from an authentic off center logo to a generic centered logo which resembles closely to the family channel logo… not only in design but in color… facebook originally stood out in its self in apps and etc. due to the iconic blue, the lower case letters and the off centre logo but now is very similar in color and style to a lot of apps… instead of standing out in it’s own unique way it now blends in with everything else… then facebook goes all caps on the name… while still having a lower case letter in the “f” logo??… WHAT???!!!… REALLY??… In my opinion the lower case letters looked better it was different but not only that it matched the “f” logo. Do you know how many companies have to change the logo they imprint on their products and publications worldwide now?… it’s insane.
None of it makes sense… or highights any sort of brilliance… not to me anyway.
But just when I think I’m alone in my criticism about the changes…
Twitter’s co-founder and CEO Jack Dorsey tweet’s this…
… obviously someone else took notice to a lack of imagination and brilliance on the “rebranding” of facebook.
… I don’t know how changes like this are decided upon after 15 years…
Am I being too critical?…
… It’s frustrating and sad to be so forgotten… alienated and absoulutly erased from something for so long… and watching all these changes happen to something that I was a part of in the beginning…
and it just reminds me how I don’t own all my own pieces to my life’s story because all my credibility and truth lies in the hands of Mark Zuckerberg and he has not made any effort on helping to validate my truth at all. That in itself is just damaging to my spirit… beyond anyone’s knowing… It’s pieces of my lifes story… basically stolen… absolutely ripped away from me…
Disinformation is a huge topic these days… FACEBOOK has went through a lot of backlash about it…
Look at my story… my story is a story that is TRUE yet it is being allowed to be looked at as a false story due to the lack of validation from a creditable source which would be Mark Zuckerberg himself. People want to know the truth and I’m giving it to them but I’m just left on my own to look like a fool… a complete joke to skeptics… because I’m a “nobody”… so I must be some insane pathological liar in need of “attention.”
sadly that’s what some people are assuming… and I am sensitive to mockery of this nature because my Mother has schizophrenia. Mark knew that…
It isn’t right to allow people to be mocked for being honest and it isn’t right to allow people to be misinformed on various subjects… it’s not right to leave anyone out on a limb like this… for any reason. Simply put… It’s cruel.
Does anyone know what it feels like to tell the truth but be absolutely humiliated and your truth ignored or denied? It’s an absolutely horrible feeling right? It’s a horrible feeling that is felt deeply in your soul… and it really breaks your spirit down.
Mark never publicly denied my story because he knows the truth… but others that were in his inner circle have denied and tried to discredit me, and Mark just seemingly ignores it…
Which I don’t understand that type of behavior… especially from Mark. Although our friendship ended a long time ago… I tried to be there for him. I cared… I cared a great deal about Mark, and his future with facebook beyond anything I can explain…
I understand that our friendship and partnership fell apart resulting in me not being able to be there for Mark or facebook, especially in difficult times… but I was there in the beginning and during that time I did my best to give Mark the best advice that I could and when I wasn’t being his biggest critic so he’d do his best; I was very supportive and gave him a lot of encouragement because I believed in him wholeheartedly.
… as our friendship fell apart due to an argument and stubbornness from both sides… I made sure to let him know that I cared… I even went as far to mention that I would never cause a legal problem for him or facebook because I wanted nothing but the best for them both.
… Apparently Mark not only forgot about me, he forgot that I genuinely cared from the very beginning of our friendship… not only till the end of it… but also even to this present day…
… and in return… well… actions as well as the lack of them speak volumes.
I didn’t know Mark as someone capable of being so uncaring… He’s an extremely caring person… he cared about everything, and was dedicated to solving problems and was generous in helping others that’s how I knew him to be… but I guess I obviously hurt and disappointed him to get this sort of reaction after all these years.
After all this time I don’t think Mark cares how everything has affected my life. If he truly cared he would have taken the time to reach out to me instead of proceeding to erase me from facebook’s history.
… if he truly knew and understood the hardships I continue to endure in my life… I really don’t think he would have turned his back completely on me like he has… but he doesn’t know or have any idea…
Currently there’s a big issue I have been struggling with in my life… and there is nobody else in the world that I would want to talk to about it other than Mark… I don’t have any real friends in my life… as short lived as my friendship with Mark was… He was different from anyone I had ever known, I tried to make an effort to always be friends… to never loose touch.. I trusted him and I felt he understood me.
… I’ve tried my best to reach out to Mark and others… obviously without any success…
I’m pretty well out of hope at this point that I will ever talk to Mark again… or my truth be validated… FACEBOOK will be 16 years in a matter of a few months… ugh …. all caps really?… did this really happen?
While I remain saddened by this experience in my life…
I can still say that I’m happy for Mark and proud that Mark was able to do so much with facebook… I mean FACEBOOK in the last 15 years. I only wanted the best for him and facebook… he knew that… I told him so before our friendship had come to an end.
… and as always since the beginning… I guess another thing that hasn’t changed much about me and that is the fact that I can’t help but criticize things that I think could have been done better.
It’s 4:20 am guess I will end my late night blog rant here.
Third Eye Blind – Tropic Scorpio
“Here’s my dilemma You’re throwing a kink in my telemetry…”
Posted on October 28, 2019
16 years ago today October 28th 2003 Mark called me a bitch in his Livejournal under the made up alias of “Jessica Alona”…
Who really cares?…
I don’t… but it’s the only place you will find me mentioned in the history of Facebook and because “Jessica Alona” happens to be a made up alias and not my real name I know it is hard for some skeptics to believe my story without Mark Zuckerberg’s own validation of it.
But I can assure there is nobody else on the planet other than myself personally that can claim they are the real “Jessica Alona” that Mark wrote about in his Livejournal.
I can’t speak for Mark on why he has completely turned his back on me…
It’s hurtful… and what hurts the most is thinking that Mark doesn’t care about how this has negativly impacted my life.
I can only assume things and honestly I know assumptions aren’t always right; in fact a lot of people’s assumptions are almost always dead wrong one way or another because they aren’t factual. I know my own assumptions can be wrong but… The first assumption I always think of is…
I think Mark hates me… or has really hard feelings… or his perception of me got tainted by other people’s opinions that never actually got to know me.
As a person that has been forgotten and Alienated… What I find that irks me is Mark’s slogan for Facebook… “Bringing the world closer together.”
I think it is hypocritical to be on a life’s mission to connect the world through Facebook but in reality actually alienate and forget someone that is a part of Facebook’s history… someone that tried their best to help you, looked out for your best interests, helped make plans for the future, who absolutely trusted you and believed in you.
Yet stand so strongly and confidently by those words…
I just don’t get it…
From my point of view am I wrong for thinking it’s hypocritical?
I wholeheartedly believed in Mark. There were times he was so unsure of himself and I gave him nothing but positive encouragement.
The last argument Mark Zuckerberg and I had a year after the launch of Facebook if he can remember what it was about… maybe he’d remember just how much I actually cared not just cared about him as a friend but exactly how much I cared about the future of Facebook.
I don’t want to say what our argument was about… but I tried so damn hard to get him to understand my point of view because I actually cared and obviously I still do care after all these years and obviously always will…
And to be clear I’m not calling Mark a hypocrite to bad mouth him to cut him down… because I truly know that Mark tries his best to mean well in everything he does. I’m just speaking my mind and expressing how I feel about the whole “Bringing the world closer together” slogan seems hypocritical to me as I remain forgotten and alienated.
I had a role in the creation of Facebook…
How stupid and pathetic does that sound to a skeptic that won’t accept my sincere honesty as actual facts because Mark won’t validate my honesty in my words?… exactly…
Because there is no mention anywhere of what my role really was… other than being a “Bitch”.
and that really is partially my fault… I wanted to maintain my privacy so badly.
All that mattered to me was that Mark knew the truth…
… I never thought my need for privacy would work against me and I’d end up so forgotten and alienated by Mark…
Or that part of my life’s story would be forgotten and basically denied… or just ripped away from me n that meant keeping everything secret from my own family because of the embarrassment of it all… except for my Mom… but even she doesn’t have complete understanding of everything.
I’ve been left to look like a complete joke to people… and I can’t even believe that Mark would allow this to happen to me.
The burden of being completely forgotten, discredited and Alienated has weighed so heavy on my soul for so long and obviously I am just tired… I have so much difficulty and hardships in my life without this stuff.
And it’s not something to just get over and move on from…
Being forgotten is a part of my life’s story and I face the reality of it every single day… There is no escaping it.
I wish that Mark or someone close to him could find some genuine compassion in their heart and try to understand the difficultly of the situation that I’ve been left in..
…. to recap a bit
After Mark called me a Bitch in his Livejournal under a made up alias…
Our friendship didn’t stop there like some people have speculated.
I asked Mark to remove that comment from his Livejournal… but he wouldn’t because it was already published… eventually he just hid it rather than actually delete it.
He wanted me to be included in the history of Facebook… and the thing was I didn’t want my real name online anywhere…
I am still like that today…
The only exception where I have my real full name is my actual personal Facebook account… where I have just my family as my Facebook friends… I don’t have random people on my Facebook… I don’t have my friends from the past on Facebook… I don’t add acquaintances or even a friend I knew since I was a kid… that is basically my only friend.
Privacy has always been very important to me… always… and I can’t fully explain exactly why… other than I have experienced being stalked and harassed in the past… I didn’t tell Mark every detail of my life. There was a lot about me that Mark didn’t know at the time he wanted to know everything and I told him one day I would tell him everything… but I never got that chance.
I think he’d understand things about me a lot more better if I had that chance to explain the things I never had the chance to explain.
It is true that at one point I didn’t accept Mark Zuckerberg’s friend request…
It wasn’t because I was mad at him. I had created an account with my real name at the time and I just wanted to keep my friendship with him private from everyone.
But in previous early versions of Facebook I was always on his friends list under the name Jade… because I was using the nickname Jade010684 at the time on MySpace. I didn’t have any real friends or family added to any of my accounts where I used an alias and I still keep it that way.
My family or anyone I know don’t know that I am the real Jessica Alona.
My Mom knows about Mark Zuckerberg… I made her write down his full name on her calendar the evening he had officially made me a silent partner in Facebook. She had talked to Mark over the phone 2-3 times after that when he had called to talk to me… she describes the calls as sounding distant/far away… bad connection. She knows some of my struggles regarding what happened between Mark and I but she doesn’t know the full story.
It’s embarrassing for myself that things ended up this way.
As a private person… I never wanted to reveal my inner thoughts n feelings like this on the internet… on a website but I just want people to know that I’m a real person that has been forgotten and alienated and I struggle alone with the reality that I don’t really own every piece to my life’s story to say the least… not without looking like a complete joke anyway.
Since I launched this website so many people have taken the time to reach out by sending me such lovely supportive messages. It means a lot to me that there are people out there that believe my story without a doubt and I honestly can’t express how much it touches my heart because it’s such a difficult situation… and I know it looks bad… but the truth usually has it’s flaws and isn’t exactly pretty or perfect in reality.
Third Eye Blind – Take A Side
My original MySpace account got deleted again… doesn’t look like I will get it back this time.
The first time it got deleted was shortly after Mark Zuckerberg and I had our fall out…
I was able to get it back quickly…
but soon deactivated it June 15th 2005.
The reason I deactivated the account was… There were people inquiring about me to random people on my friends list. I used the name Jade as my username at the time. I had a large friend list back then on MySpace. The majority of the people on my friends list I didn’t know personally but people begain private messaging me saying there were people from California trying to obtain information on me… like my real identity… where I lived… etc. and it freaked me out… so I deactivated the account.
Facebook was just a year old then…
It wasn’t until December 7th 2005 that I reactivated the account…
I was in the process of moving out of the apartment that my Mom and I rented that we could no longer afford… it was an unexpected move. During that time I was trying to reach Mark to tell him I was moving but was unable to reconnect… that was the only reason I reactivated the account.
Then 4 months later MySpace deleted my account for the 2nd time…
awhile went buy and I was able to obtain the account again…
Only to have it deleted again for the 3rd time September 3, 2019.
Even though I no longer used the account, That account was sentimental to me… it was my original account from 2003… I was 19 years old then. I spent my spare time on it, it was my escape from real life… The way the site was designed back then allowed anyone to customize their page any way they wanted, That feature is what made me fall in love with MySpace because it allowed me to express myself freely. MySpace also allowed me to learn and experiment with HTML code… because of that everyday my profile had a different look almost everyday and that is what caught Mark Zuckerberg’s attention… he said he liked the way I designed my profile. Mark claimed that because he is colorblind it allowed him to see the features on MySpace clearly on my profile… he said that most people designed their pages too dark for him to see anything clearly.
Through that MySpace account Mark Zuckerberg and I became friends… I have a lot of memories attached to that account. Even though all the history I had on that account has been erased… just having that account was sentimental to me… now I no longer have it…
… One of many memories I have is a conversation Mark and I had a few times. We talked about how “cool” it would be to own MySpace one day…
I said it was my dream to own it, It’s because I loved MySpace so much back then… it was very different from what it is today.
I’d talk to Mark about what I’d add to MySpace if it was mine… just… day dreaming beyond wildest dreams… and Mark would say “No… MySpace doesn’t need more features n stuff it needs to be simplified.” and I remember being like NO!!!!!! It would be soooo boring then… I said if anything it needs more features to be better.
… well… look at it now… it’s simplified to hell… to the point of being absolutely useless.
In my opinion… MySpace should just be reinvented and repurposed at this point.
… MySpace is actually a perfect name for a Virtual World… a virtual reality space… maybe something that is compatible with Oculus. My imagination is running wild just thinking about the possibilities with an idea like that.
I just wanted to share that little random story.
Here’s the thing… I get sad. I get emotional… I’m human… I’m a real person… and sometimes I take things way too personally.
… These are indeed my comments on facebook‘s updated profile picture.
I’ll probably be embarrassed about the comments later and delete them… as well as this blog… but in the meantime… I’m sad… and emotional…
I didn’t know how hurt I’d end up feeling about the change to facebook‘s look after 15 years.
… I’m just so forgotten… and it’s intentional like I have always felt it was… but now it just feels so official.
I can understand the color change to best suit the Dark Mode option in messenger. Thus making the change necessary.
But… further altering the logo centring the “f” when it was originally off centre to the right for a reason… just makes me take it all very personal.
… I don’t expect anyone to understand… because nobody knows the things Mark Zuckerberg and I used to talk about and the promises that were made between us.
One of the things we had discussed was him eventually forgetting about me and not keeping his promises to me in the future… because I had this immense gut feeling that was going to be the reality once fame and fortune entered the picture…
Because I have always believed that people generally change and forget about the helpful and supportive people that are always present in the beginning of the journey to their success…
… but not only that… I was promised a small percentage of Mark’s personal facebook shares and I had nothing legally binding to that verbal agreement that Mark made with me… I had to rely entirely on Mark keeping his word to me…
During that discussion he made additional promises to me that he’d never forget about me and I would never be turned away from facebook…
I kept every promise I ever made to him…
… but he didn’t keep his promises that he made me.
I might be a little extra emotional about all of this because…
I have been having a very difficult time for the last several months now with some serious issues in my life that have been extremely challenging for me to deal with on my own…
I wish I had support and someone to talk to and give me a hug… but I don’t have the luxury of having any true/real friends in my life.
I’m alone… always alone in everything I do and go through in life.
… and because of all that It’s hard not to feel like the universe is constantly conspiring against me with the amount of unfortunate happenings in my life.
… sometimes I’m like… “Is this really my real life… or a nightmare?”… or does God “hate” me… or just forgot about me?…
I didn’t need another thing to add to the sadness I’ve been feeling.
But … unfortunately that is just my luck in this life… “When it rains it always pours.”
I fully understand the importance for facebook to move forward and further evolve to best suit the needs of billions of people world wide… I’m greatly supportive of that. I have always wanted the best for facebook.
It’s not about me or the feelings and memories I have clung onto all these years but that doesn’t stop me from feeling the emotions that I feel from time to time because I am forgotten.
The ultimate thing that bothers me the most is…
Thinking Mark had to of thought about the history of these things that were being changed… before changing them…
and knowing that… It makes me very sad that Mark didn’t think of reaching out to me at all or wondered how I’ve been doing all these years and how my life has been impacted by everything that happened, or how I would personally feel about the new changes to facebook after 15 years.
While I’ve tried everything trying to reach him including making this website/blog because I’ve exhausted all other options.
That further makes me feel that steps are still being taken to intentionally erase me from having any part in facebook‘s history.
The old logo was original. It also had meaning to it. The new logo now is completely unoriginal. Looks like the family channel logo… literally. Why in the world would Mark or anyone else let this happen to facebook???… ugh.
I used to be the person Mark would come to; to make the best decisions possible. There is no way I would have approved this new logo.
#1 The old logo was original… it had meaning.
#2 Millions of Companies have the original logo on their products… now they have to change it.
#3 It looks like the family channel logo.
#4 It will look too similar next to other apps that are a similar blue.
#5 … Just centring the “f” was just all around a bad move… Being off centre to the right was Original… plus it carried meaning even though nobody really knew the meaning behind it.
Being an influence during the creation of facebook was the biggest most important thing I had ever had the pleasure of doing in my life…
But the unfortunate reality is 15 years later I remain unacknowledged… just completely forgotten… written off.
It’s sad for me.
It is very hard not to take things personal considering it’s been 15 years later and I am still forgotten… I am not acknowledged at all for my influences and involvement with facebook in the beginning in any way.
I was alienated… entirely written off and forgotten… While nobody really knows the story or really cares… it’s very sad and heartbreaking to live life with that reality. It has affected my life very negatively through the years and it is what I have to live with everyday.
I try my best to accept things and try my best to stay positive and hopeful… making peace with everything but it’s very challenging at times.
Nobody likes to be forgotten.
Screenshot Caption: “…Unless you are the real person behind the alias of “Jessica Alona”… then you are purposely ignored and excluded from this mission of bringing the world closer together.”
For me personally that is what the reality feels like behind facebook‘s motto of “Bringing the world closer together.”
It is an exciting time for facebook‘s revamp and a fresh new look.
I might be the saddest one to see the iconic shade of blue go though… Just because I was a part of making the decision when choosing that specific shade of blue.
Which is a widely unknown fact in facebook‘s history that people don’t know… in a sense it makes me feel a little more forgotten… a little more erased from facebook‘s history… so it’s a little extra sad for me to see it go…
On the bright side of things it is exciting to see facebook continuing to evolve in such a positive innovative way after 15 years.
Privacy is important to us all in varying degrees. For me privacy has always been extremely important to me.
I have always been obsessed with privacy and protecting myself hence why Mark came up with this “Jessica Alona” alias for me… which I never did like… but the thing was I never wanted my real name revealed. I just wanted to maintain my privacy more than anything and Mark understood and respected that…
I was pleased to hear the F8 announcement that facebook is focusing on being a Privacy Focused Social Platform. Building more services focused on privacy and message encryption. It is something that I have always wanted for facebook.
Being Canadian I also thought it was really cool to hear that Portal is being launched internationally starting in Canada this June and will be released elsewhere in the fall.
… for me it’s kind of funny and surreal that Mark is putting a product out into the world that has a Camera cover included with it… If he only knew the big grin I had on my face when I first saw that Portal would feature a camera cover. 😁
I have always covered my camera’s on my devices. Smartphone included. So I personally find that little feature very appealing.
As an avid gamer oddly I have never tried any of the Oculus products. I guess I don’t know exactly what I am missing. Oculus Quest looks pretty cool. There is a lot of exciting things to anticipate this year.
Matthew Good – The Future is X Rated
“… I used to ride around here… up on my high horse… with all the other good little butcher boys… a plagiarist of course.
So roll over sweet thing… Like a nuclear reprisal inbound from outer space there’s a comparison here I’m trying to swing…”
facebook turned 15 today.
I remember the early morning of February 4th 2004 like it was yesterday. I’ll never forget how excited Mark Zuckerberg was that morning. He literally could not wait to launch thefacebook.com. I couldn’t be around for the launch because I had to work so we talked for a bit before I left for work that day.
I can’t believe it has been 15 years already. While facebook hits another milestone today without me, I hope that Mark remembered to think of me and the influence, advice, encouragement and support I put forth in the beginning of facebook… I always thought for sure by this time Mark would have attempted to reach out to me… and that we would be on talking terms again but I guess Mark doesn’t remember how much facebook actually meant to me and doesn’t seem to wonder how much it has affected my life afterwards.
Regardless of any hurt feelings I remain very proud of Mark and all the progress he has made though the years with facebook. Yes!… even though there has been times I have literally face palmed on some decisions made and wished I was able to give Mark the sound advice that he once used to value.
Through the years Mark has become a great leader, tackling hard issues and has managed to create an amazing team of the most talented, influential individuals that has helped facebook evolve into this incredible innovative platform that plays and important role in billions of people’s lives everyday around the World. From connecting with family, friends, co-workers, and etc. Through News feed, Messenger messages, Video and Non-video calls, Interacting though gaming, and facebook Groups, sharing Pictures, Videos, Thoughts, Feelings, Life Events, Fundraising, Building Brands, Launching Businesses, Selling things, Buying Things, Going viral with Funny Videos and Raising awareness on various important issues and while facebook continues to grow and evolve as always I wish Mark and everyone on the facebook team all the best… and maybe one day I won’t be so… Forgotten?.
Blue October – I Hope You’re Happy
“I’m always gonna have your back so try to remember that!
I hope you’re happy
I hope you’re good, I hope you get what you wish for and you’re well understood and whatever your progress I know you’ll be fine… I remember when the world was ours to take… I remember every word that we spoke, You right here next to me… I remember everything.” ― Blue October
Mark Zuckerberg recently released an article in the Wall Street Journal titled “The Facts About Facebook”.
It is a must read if you have concerns regarding the use of your data at facebook.
My personal experience being friends with Mark Zuckerberg was that he was always respectable and helpful to others. Reading this article in the Wall Street Journal by Mark makes me think back in time to 15 years ago when we were friends.
He was always determined to be of service to others because of that determination here we are today Connecting, Sharing, Helping others through Fundraising, Building Brands, Increasing Business, and etc.
It is mind blowing to think about all the good that facebook has done for Billions of people Worldwide and none of it would have been possible if it wasn’t for Mark’s drive to help others and being innovative along the way.
Through the years facebook has had it’s challenges and mistakes made. I admire Mark’s ability to be a strong leader and to follow up on issues with ultimate integrity in mind. Overall I am proud of what Mark was able to accomplish, overcome and deliver thus far with facebook.
The most important thing to me has always been my privacy. While people continue to ridicule and accuse Mark of not being trustworthy with their data. I can assure you that despite what has happened, Mark has always been a respectable person especially regarding privacy. I’m proof of that. Mark fully respected the fact that I valued my privacy from day one; Hence making up the “Jessica Alona” alias and even though things didn’t end well with our friendship/business Partnership Mark respected my wish wholeheartedly and has never revealed my true identity against my wishes. 💙
I’ll never forget the conversations that Mark Zuckerberg and I had about Dog’s.
Mark and I had a lot of things in common, One of the things we had in common was we both loved Sheepdogs. One time we were discussing what kind of dogs we liked. I firstly said a West Highland Terrier followed by an Old English Sheepdog. Mark then told me he had a Westie back home at his parents, and he liked sheepdog’s too. I remember laughing about that. Mark started googling Sheepdog’s and said he wanted a Hungarian Sheepdog one day. I remember saying good luck grooming it… and tried talking him into considering an Old English Sheepdog instead. SORRY!! about that Beast! I guess you can say you were destined to be a Chan-Zuckerberg! You are one lucky Puli! HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY!